The Barking Lot

As anyone who knows me can attest, I am an extremely nervous person.  I fret about everything, and my nerves get the best of me.

The other day was one of those days,  a day that would stem off many of my panic attack symptoms.  My GI system started first, causing me to sprint to the bathroom over and over, followed by my need to puff on my inhaler more often than that Goonies kid.  Soon, my pulse quickened, and I began perspiring.  Yes, I know it’s just a fancy word for sweating, but it sounds more feminine, even if it doesn’t look it.

“Stop!”  I told myself.  “How silly you are being.”  Needless to say, it didn’t work, because, well…I almost always ignore myself.

I began trying to meditate and think of encouraging quotes full of wisdom.  Words formed in my mind…”Don’t sweat… Don’t sweat…”  Don’t sweat what?  There was something else to these words.  Some grand saying that would cure all of my ailments!  I just knew it.  What was the saying?  Who said it?   Could it have been by Confucius?   The wise old turtle from the movie Kung Fu Panda?  An old stale fortune cookie?

I began trying to think hard about it.  “Confucius says… Don’t sweat…the petty stuff?  Yes that might be it, but there was more to it.  It had to be important!  Think dam nit, think!  “Don’t sweat the petty stuff (becauseee….. blah)…”  It was on the tip of my tongue.

Soon it struck me!  Maybe as hard as Chris Brown struck Rihanna!   “Don’t sweat the petty stuff… pet the sweaty stuff!

What!!??

Yeah, I don’t think Confucius said that.  Wow, did someone corrupt my mind.

My words of wisdom?  Order fresh fortune cookies and retain better quotes of courage than I.

Thanks,

Jade’s Bark